I miss them
My parents went back to Sri Lanka on Saturday, after spending almost 6 months with me here in UK. That’s one of the reason I don’t write here that often these days. I feel like going to Sri Lanka right now. If I can get a 2 weeks holiday, I would go right now. I miss them a lot already. As they say, nothing comes even close to your own home and your parents.
I cried like a baby uncontrollably at the Airport….I couldn’t stop it…When I think of it now, it makes me and angry & laugh. Not because I cried, because its not a new thing…but I cried in front of lots of people…well…who cares about other people anyway….But it makes me angry because I hurt my parents. I shouldnt have cried infront of them. I should have pretended like i am having a good time here...Sometimes i do wonder whats wrong with my head.....probably a virus...
I don’t know whether you guys feet it…. sometimes you are in a party or with lots of people around you…still you feel very lonely and the last place that you want to be in this world is that…and yet sometimes you are alone and you feel that you have some of your loved ones with you…. you wont feel alone. That’s how I feel most of the time. It’s amazing how Life can swing from one corner to another, and the worst part is most of the time you have no control at all. I know lots of Sri lankans and lots of family members. I do have some friends as well. But people here are different. Over time…people here evolve and change I guess. Probably not in a bad way…its human character …to change and adapt to the environment they live in. But for me…something is missing here.
Things happen in your life that will change the course of our life path… sometimes for good and sometimes for bad…that’s life I guess. As I write this one part of my brain shouts at me “ stop mourning! You idiot…and get on with your life…you moron…”
My father used to work in a Middle East country for about 13/14 years. He worked for a MOD company. He used to come home on vacation every 6 months. Now I know how he would have felt living alone without his kids and wife.
When you are down, you can just go and visit a friend or a family or even a place where you grew up with lots of happy memories if you’re in Sri Lanka. But here most of the time people don’t even answer their phone…because they are too busy with their work…
Most of the people do shift work…and when you are not working they are probably working…. and vice versa…
You need a person you can rely on with your life…. I had few in Sri Lanka, friends and parents…ok fair enough…there are my own sisters…or relatives. Out of all you have the right to ask something only if they are your parents and ofcourse your partner. You can rely and call them and ask them to do something or even for a chitchat…with full rights. Others you don’t have the right to expect anything. All you can do is ask….
In this country they say you can buy anything. But as most of the people, I don’t agree. Its true what they say about the house…. money can buy you a nice house…but not home…. so on…
I know there are probably millions of people, who would love to be in my shoes. I shouldn’t complain, but end of the day, what counts is whether I am happy. I used to think that people should do what their heart says to do. But now I have learnt that people should do what right for the loved ones around you. You should still follow your heart…but without hurting others.
Even now I can just go back home. But I have to make my parents happy…although money is not everything …it goes along way towards making other people happy although you are not …
Enough ranting and mourning….
Dream what you want to dream…
Go where you want to go…
Do what you want to do…
But!
Not at any cost….
Although you wont have a second life…
I cried like a baby uncontrollably at the Airport….I couldn’t stop it…When I think of it now, it makes me and angry & laugh. Not because I cried, because its not a new thing…but I cried in front of lots of people…well…who cares about other people anyway….But it makes me angry because I hurt my parents. I shouldnt have cried infront of them. I should have pretended like i am having a good time here...Sometimes i do wonder whats wrong with my head.....probably a virus...
I don’t know whether you guys feet it…. sometimes you are in a party or with lots of people around you…still you feel very lonely and the last place that you want to be in this world is that…and yet sometimes you are alone and you feel that you have some of your loved ones with you…. you wont feel alone. That’s how I feel most of the time. It’s amazing how Life can swing from one corner to another, and the worst part is most of the time you have no control at all. I know lots of Sri lankans and lots of family members. I do have some friends as well. But people here are different. Over time…people here evolve and change I guess. Probably not in a bad way…its human character …to change and adapt to the environment they live in. But for me…something is missing here.
Things happen in your life that will change the course of our life path… sometimes for good and sometimes for bad…that’s life I guess. As I write this one part of my brain shouts at me “ stop mourning! You idiot…and get on with your life…you moron…”
My father used to work in a Middle East country for about 13/14 years. He worked for a MOD company. He used to come home on vacation every 6 months. Now I know how he would have felt living alone without his kids and wife.
When you are down, you can just go and visit a friend or a family or even a place where you grew up with lots of happy memories if you’re in Sri Lanka. But here most of the time people don’t even answer their phone…because they are too busy with their work…
Most of the people do shift work…and when you are not working they are probably working…. and vice versa…
You need a person you can rely on with your life…. I had few in Sri Lanka, friends and parents…ok fair enough…there are my own sisters…or relatives. Out of all you have the right to ask something only if they are your parents and ofcourse your partner. You can rely and call them and ask them to do something or even for a chitchat…with full rights. Others you don’t have the right to expect anything. All you can do is ask….
In this country they say you can buy anything. But as most of the people, I don’t agree. Its true what they say about the house…. money can buy you a nice house…but not home…. so on…
I know there are probably millions of people, who would love to be in my shoes. I shouldn’t complain, but end of the day, what counts is whether I am happy. I used to think that people should do what their heart says to do. But now I have learnt that people should do what right for the loved ones around you. You should still follow your heart…but without hurting others.
Even now I can just go back home. But I have to make my parents happy…although money is not everything …it goes along way towards making other people happy although you are not …
Enough ranting and mourning….
Dream what you want to dream…
Go where you want to go…
Do what you want to do…
But!
Not at any cost….
Although you wont have a second life…
Mum & Dad......
sorry and I love you more than anything in this world.....
TC people
10 comments:
Why you making me cry too? And you also got me thinking now. You know I love you to bits as a brother and I know that I can never fill the loneliness you feel in your heart for your parents now that they gone back home but I will always here for you as your best friend. Remember it's good to cry sometimes!!!
You know who I am.....
Luv ya
Hi
Sorry for making you cry. I didnt meant to...but just wrote how i felt..thats all...you know me...I write lots of crap sometimes...you shouldnt take the things i say seriously..ha ha lol
thanks for that anyway...
by the way one of the biggest mistake i did is to give my blog web address....damn.
TC
//But it makes me angry because I hurt my parents. I shouldnt have cried infront of them. I should have pretended like i am having a good time here..//
Stop feeling bad for feeling a emotion thats what makes us humans :)
//I used to think that people should do what their heart says to do. But now I have learnt that people should do what right for the loved ones around you. You should still follow your heart…but without hurting others.//
Rightly said :)
D
man, you almost moisted my eyes.. so touching and true... money is not all, but money can go a long way to make people happy - so true... may be i am not as courageous as you are and i dont want to face the tough situations you face - and that is why i am still @ India, where my parents are just a night journey away, and friends - a call away.
it is good that u cried and let out what you had inside you - it is awlays betetr to do it thna let it to build up inside you... take care...
Hi dreams...
I know worrying and happiness etc those are the things makes us humans.... some time it doesnt matter how much you convince your self by telling that life is full of everything...there are situation which is hard to swallow...
Hi -XH-
Sorry for upseting you...yes...no matter I try i cant seems to make that decision to go back tyo sri lanka and be very close to my parents are friends...
Crying does make you feel good for a little while...but sometimes there pains that will never go away in life....
Tc
Omg..that was a v touching blog...I really dont even want to imagine the days I spent without my parents and s even I'm like you...My parents r more important to me than anything or anyone else in the world...:)
Hey, nothing wrong in sharing such things in the blog. You just wrote how you are feeling which is good. I wish you will go back soon and take care of your parents.
Hmm... thats reminds my parents , who nolonger in this world... :`(
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